Realistic expectations

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend who was rushing home from work to relieve her mother who was at her home caring for her sick kids. She said, "I left the house this morning not planning for anyone to BE there. And my house is not in any condition for my mother to be there." Then entire conversation made me laugh because I knew EXACTLY how she felt.

My goal is to leave to have both the kids out the door by 8:15 every morning. But usually, I'm running about 5-10 minutes behind schedule. It's a mad scramble to get to the car. I'm a bit embarassed to admit it, but I leave behind a disastrous mess: my daughter's half-eaten SECOND bowl of cereal (with a few lonely floating Cheerios), my son's demolished single waffle (he hates breakfast) that he'd pushed around for 25 minutes and only eaten three-fourths, my unmade bed, a couple of coffe mugs and half-filled glasses of water. And even though my mother wouldn't mind the least, I would be mortified if she entered my house before I'd had the chance to straighten.

Lunch is the time when I clean up breakfast, empty the dishwasher (and load up whatever dishes are waiting patiently in the sink), pick up the rest of the house...and if I'm felling particularly energetic, I'll prep dinner.

Sometimes, when we're running ahead of schedule, I'll do some clean up before we even leave for school. But I've noticed it takes a lot to get my awfully sluggish self moving in the morning, and it takes significantly longer to do each task. I don't know if it's endorphins or motivation or just a boost of energy I get (my highest functioning hours of the day are from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.), but I can bust through and clean up the house in half the time (or less) later in the day.

I must have realistic expectations and goals for myself. My primary goal is to get OUT the door in the morning. Everything else is secondary. For now - in this preschool stage of life - this is all I can realistically expect in the morning hours. I'm certain this will change as the kids get older and take on more of their own responsibilities and chores. 

It's taken me nearly ten years of marriage to accept things as they are. I'm a perfectionist through and through who's always trying to achieve such high standards that are nearly unattainable without a Martha Stewart-like intensity. (In fact, I used to often be late to things because I couldn't leave the house until every last thing was put in its place.) Setting realistic expectations, guilt-free, is a benchmark of personal growth. I think all too often, I'm motivated solely by motherly guilt, that I miss out on LIFE. Here's a terrific example of guilt-motivated decisions: I've been working a lot lately, so I had the un-novel idea to make homemade valentine's this year for both of my children's preschool class: it took a very long time to stamp, cut, and assemble what would've cost me less than $3 per box at WalMart. 

So, if you come visit my house before lunch, be prepared that it may be a disaster area. (While I'm not exactly proud of the mess, it's nothing I can't clean-up in about 20 motivated minutes.) And after a very long struggle, I'm okay with that.