The somewhat calming force of motherhood

I've recently reconnected with an old friend from junior high. (That's right. Way back when, it was called "junior high" not "middle school." Doesn't THAT date me?) We've had lunch a couple of times and she has two boys (9 months, 2 1/2 years old).

When we get together, I can't help but remember how awkward I was as a teenager. I was  high strung, uptight, and could barely relax in my own skin. Nearly fifteen years later, we're both married with children. And it's amazing how much more calm I've become.

I remember complaining often to my mother about the drama and trials of junior high and high school. She wisely would tell me that although it seemed like it won't ever end, "this chapter of your life is such a small portion of the rest of your life. And one day, you'll look back on all this and laugh." Well, wasn't she right? (Who knew she was so smart.)

Before I was a mom, I prayed I would be a calm, relaxed mother (instead of the frantic, paranoid mother I feared I would become). I wanted to be the kind of woman who always seems to maintain her composure even in the midst of chaos. My Type-A, nearly obsessive-compulsive personality made this dream of being a relaxed  mother seem a bit out of reach since I was a clean-freak who needed every item in my home to have its own "home."

Once my daughter was born, something inside of me changed instantly. It was a miracle. It was easier to let the little things go. Keeping my house clean and every little item in place just didn't seem as important to me as it had just days before she was born. And little by little, my anxiety and uptightness seemed to erode into a mellow mom.

It's surprising how motherhood has mellowed me. Sure, I still have my manic moments or anxious hours. But overall, there's a significant shift in my demeanor. My paranoia has all but diminished. My patience has increased so much that it even surprises me at times (not to mention my husband). And after the initial fear of leaving the safety net of the nursing staff at the hospital, my baby and I settled into a routine.

Even though motherhood has its highlights and low points (a baby and a toddler covered from head to toe in Vaseline was a bit of both), I've found it an overwhelming source of joy, confidence, humility and MELLOWNESS. Thank God for answering my prayers for mellowness and patience.